


A Shadow of Him

by L_Sincline



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 05:45:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18162155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Sincline/pseuds/L_Sincline
Summary: Lotor is haunted by the misdeeds of his father and how they have affected him. The Prince tosses and turns in his sleep, asking himself the same question over and over again; is he merely a shadow of the one he loathes?





	A Shadow of Him

It was like a swirling, stumbling pain. Something that shouldn't be  
forgotten. 

A shadowy time, things that he'd willed out of his mind the last time the dizzy sick feeling that came with the shadows had visited him.  
It was dark, pitch black, save for the ring of light Lotor stood in. 

"Hello?" He called out, voice echoing off of nothing. 

That's just it, there was nothing. 

But he had to find something.

The prince ran, boots making loud clunks against the ground, echoing off of the nothing as the light followed wherever he moved.  
No, no matter how fast he was, no matter how far he went-

nothing existed. 

Did he exist? Was he really here?

His footing slipped, he fell. He fell down into the ground that wasn't there, engulfed by darkness as nothing blew against him.  
A bright light and a high pitched noise, and suddenly he was standing. 

Short. He was short. No hair brushed against his neck. 

But then he realized, he was being pulled, strong hands on his arms. 

"No! Let me go! No! No!" Though he yelled, his voice was a higher soprano tone, young and innocent. Scared and cowardly. 

The heavily armored hands pushed him to the ground, knees hitting the hard floor as he let out a small sound of pain, the hands holding him there. A free hand grabbed the back of his head and forced him to look up at the large, looming figure ahead of him. 

Zarkon. 

His father. 

"Take him to the ring." The voice growled, unforgiving, sending fear through his body as the soldiers seized his arms once more dragging him away. 

"No! No! Help me dad! Please!" his squeaky voice cried, tears streaking freely down his face as he struggled.  
He blinked, and for a moment, there was nothing again, but when he awoke, he was thrown once more into action. 

His hair was a bit longer now, now coming to just past his shoulders. His arms ached as he swung his heavier than usual sword, trying to beat the prisoner that stood before him.  
The younger him clenched his teeth, gripping the sword tighter and getting ready to swing, only to be hit from above, the opposers weapon slicing down his front.  
He cried out in pain, throat already raw, as a kick was sent deep into his chest, smaller body sent flying. Hot tears, hot blood- everything hurt. He crumpled to the ground, motionless, everything slowed as he closed his eyes, and when he awoke again, there was nothing. 

Just dark space, he was him again, but his entire body tingled and felt sore, like everything had really happened. 

Then an overload, images flashing around him, the burning of his planet by his father, the stitching of all the wounds, the pain of his mother never being there, the beatings after beatings as a young child, the calluses on his hands, his first time ever killing an opponent. That one hurt more than the rest, because it reminded him that he had been dirtied and tattered from a young age. 

No matter what he wanted, no matter what he did, no matter what he would do;

He was broken. 

He was ripped apart, stomped on, thrown in the trash, bloodied and battered, ruined. Absolutely ruined. 

And it was all his fault. 

Maybe if he hadn't been born at all he wouldn't have these problems. Maybe if he'd died with his mother he wouldn't have been the bad guy.  
Maybe he'd be clean, pristine, soft, kept, held close, cherished. 

As he fell to his knees, he fell into the nothingness once more, his own scream echoing after him. 

Hot and burning. The smoke choked him and dirtied his lungs. 

He looked up from his kneeling spot on the ground, unlike last time, his hair now hit the middle of his back, he knew what this was. 

He wished he didn't know. 

The planet before him burned and crumbled, the screams of the people only echoed off the mountains at this point, the crackling of the fire was all that was left. His heart pounded in his ears. 

"Why?" he choked out, "Why would you do this?!" His weak, sobbing voice caused him to grit his teeth. 

"Your task was not to be friends with these people," the voice grumbled back. His father. Zarkon. 

"You didn't need to kill them!" the Prince screamed, staggering to his feet. He lifted his sword quickly, pointing it towards his father's throat. "Why? Why is their life any less important than yours?!" Lotor sobbed out, chest rising and falling rapidly as he felt warm tears streak down his cheeks. 

"They were a burden to your mission." His father took one wide step foreword, towering over the lithe Prince. 

"Screw my mission," he hissed out through clenched teeth. "If this is the mission then I don't want any part of it." He looked back up at his father with fire in his eyes. 

"You insolent whelp," was all his father said before all Lotor could feel was the pain as he was slammed to the ground. He groaned as he propped himself up onto his elbow. "Get out of my Empire. Leave and never return. You're not needed here."

He was never needed anywhere. 

Was he?

When he opened his eyes again, it was the dark expanse once more, but this time he felt something looming over him. Lotor looked up only to jump in surprise and scramble backwards. 

"N-Narti?" he questioned weakly. 

'Why'd you kill me, Prince? I worked so diligently for you. Why did you betray me?'  
A voice echoed mournfully around the dark expanse, Narti's tail waved back and forth gently as if pressed by a slight breeze. 

"No- No! You betrayed me- you- You sold me out to t-that witch!" he responded harshly, fearful grimace evident on his face. 

'You killed me. You're just like your father. I was innocent.'

"You know nothing!" he cried out. "I am nothing like my father!" Lotor snarled back, but she was gone. He stared at the spot she'd once stood, trying to regain his breath. 

'What about us, Prince?'

He whipped around, scrambling to his feet only to be faced with horrors he'd never thought of.  
The people of his planet, mangled and burned, all because of what his father did. They stood in masses, eyes blank and lifeless. 

'Why didn't you save us, Prince Lotor? We were your friends.'

They all spoke at the same time, Lotor backed up nervously, tears threatening to fall from his eyes once more. "No... No!" he choked out, only to whip around once more when he bumped into something else. 

"Allura?" he questioned quietly. 

'You deserve to die, Lotor.'

The Prince stumbled over his own feet as he tried to back up once more, falling to the ground. As he looked up, he saw them all surrounding him.  
His people, Narti, his generals,

Allura. 

"P-please- I never wanted any of this." His voice cracked as he spoke out in fear. 

‘You're nothing more than Zarkon's son, Prince Lotor.’  
The mass chorused. 

"Leave me alone," he mumbled as he buried his head into his palms. 

‘Failure. Failure. Failure.’

They chanted to him until it was all he could hear. 

He opened his eyes and shot up, whipping the bedsheets off himself as he stood from his bed. His hair stuck to his forehead, back soaked in sweat, cheeks dry with tears, throat raw. He looked down at his shaking hands before moving to brush his hair off his forehead.  
Lotor walked over to the mirror and looked into it.  
His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was a mess. 

With shaking hands, he lifted up the front of his shirt, and surely enough, it was still there.  
One long scar stretched from his left left shoulder to his right hip.  
Quickly, he dropped his shirt to cover it once more, and when he looked back up at his face, he was crying. 

This was really it, wasn't it? He was nothing more than Zarkon's son.


End file.
